Click on any picture to see a bigger version that downloads even slower.
How to make a PHKL - that's short for 'Pink Hello Kitty
Laptop'. This is a project for two people, you and a friend, with
notable guest appearances by your meddling
boyfriend.
Examine the actual original, the
Hello Kitty laptop produced by Fujitsu (pictured on the right)
on the web. Decide you can't buy it for intended recipient, but
you might be able to recreate it. Go to FAO Schwartz for
assorted 'Hello Kitty' stuff. Freak. While there, explain to
sales-person in area what you are doing. Have it be overheard
by 'Hello Kitty' maven. Enlist maven as consultant. Spend
lovely 30 minutes finding out everything about the world of
'Hello Kitty' and the people who live it for fun. Ask for
address of maven to send pictures after project is over. Get
very suspicious look. Get address anyway, with admonition:
"Just don't stalk me or anything, ok?"
Assemble all the stuff on a nice work-surface, like a
sandblasted-glass table. The ingredients for making a proper
PHKL include a broken laptop, spray paint in lovely pink and
red, assorted 'Hello Kitty' decals, and other tasteful
accoutrements like bright pink feather boas. Note the keyboard
tray has been already removed from the laptop in this
picture.
Decide you'd be a
nutso for almost ruining your lovely glass table, and go to the
breakfast nook. Cover table there with assorted newspaperoids.
Spraypaint carefully removed keyboard tray and control keys
bright red. Notice paint is dripping off. Resolve to spray four
coats more.
After boyfriend complains about the fumes, resolve
to spraypaint actual laptop case and standard keyboard keys
outside. Spread assorted newspapers on the ground. Put
everything on it. Spray. Watch many people go by wondering
whether you are a pair of nutsos. Watch Boston Police go by
without even turning their heads. Grab chairs to sit and guard
drying laptop. Note in dismay to each other that you have
reached a possible nadir of your existence: you are watching
paint dry.
After taking everything inside, wait full night
for everything to dry. Get hungry at 4 AM. Wake up for snack,
pass laptop in the kitchen, decide it needs a touch-up here and
there. Do so. The next morning, spray a lovely background in
red for the center decal. Have boyfriend hate it. Have partner
say it needs to be done again. Repaint over red, wait for
drying, do red again, have it be equally bad. Arrange puffy
decals over top. Glue feather boa around the case with hot glue
gun. Hot glue 'Hello Kitty' yo-yo into 'Hello Kitty'
coin-purse. Glue with red chain to laptop.
Have partner carefully scratch nail
decals on the pink keys while you put hologram silver decals on
red control keys. Put in keyboard tray. Watch partner go nuts
over the fact that half the now thick and sticky keys get stuck
in depressed position after they're inserted. Re-assemble
laptop fully. Watch partner use dental floss to lift all keys
to an even height. Wonder about his sanity.
Now that all is finished, enjoy the full visual and tactile
experience that is a proper PHKL. Be unable to make up your
mind whether it should go to Julie Andrews or your local pimp,
with all that pink fuzz and all. Be very proud of yourselves.
Send to recipient. Have recipient love it. Listen to boyfriend
nag about red paint on breakfast table. Agree and feel guilty.
Be happy that it comes off with Soft Scrub. Call boyfriend the
best.
PS: all the participants know each other from soc.motss. The recipient posted about how lovely the gift was, which led to the following post, that pretty much says it all:
From: elliott@mars.its.yale.edu (Alex Elliott) Subject: Re: Jesus loves me Date: 22 Dec 1998 00:00:00 GMT Newsgroups: soc.motss In article , Jeffrey William McKeough wrote: >In article , >Chris Ambidge wrote: >> >>Chris >>who by that metric hasn't a hope in Hades of getting a PHKL > >It's a scary bunch of people who comes up with a standard abbreviation >for "Pink Hello Kitty Laptop". Especially since it's probably pronounced "fuckle". Alex.
We made this laptop ourselves. We gave it to a friend. It is not for sale. Please do not ask me where you can buy it or how much it costs. I also do not know anything about the Fujitsu laptop. Please do not ask me about it either. I won't make another.
All pictures © 1998 - 2002 by me and Melinda Shore. All text © 1998 by me and the pal I made the PHKL with. All Hello Kitty intellectual property and materials are © Sanrio, and I just hope they keep letting me display this.